A rut.

Sometimes I think that I hesitate to talk about trials when it comes to my blog, but that is the main reason why I went private. I wanted to be able to talk about what I want to talk about when I want to talk about it.

So, these last couple weeks have been full of trials. I can't remind myself enough that I need to pray more, read my scriptures more, and ask Heavenly Father for help.

My kids are driving me crazy. I clean up the house and five minutes later it is a HUGE mess again. I know this is something that I should "embrace" being a mom, but it is really hard for me do so. When I spend all day cleaning, I want the house to stay clean for at least a few hours. AAAHHHH. Too much to ask? Yep. My kitchen floor is sticky right now, as we speak. I hate sticky-ness.

My kids are in the tattle-telling stage of life. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to freak out if I hear...Connelly hit me...or Londyn took my toy...or blah blah blah. I finally came up with a rule, if someone is not bleeding, then I don't want to hear about it. I can't decide if the rule is ok or not. I guess I'll see.

I'm really sensitive right now, and I'm trying not to be. To those that don't know, I am pregnant. I'm a mess. My emotions are up and down and I've cried more in the last month than I think I've cried in the last year. Be careful what you say to me. I'll take it wrong, and I'll probably cry.

I'm worried about my brother, and my family has pulled together to tell him how much we love him. I've said a lot of prayers about him lately. It feels good to know that family is something you can count on, and that no matter what, we will be there for each other. I love him sooo much.

Overall, I just feel like I'm in a bit of a rut. I know it will pass. I know it won't last long, and I'll be fine. I have been really sick with this pregnancy, and I'm trying to have a good attitude, but I'm not very good at that.

Sometimes I take out my bad attitude on Dan, and I need to give him a break. He let me have a nap on Sunday for four hours. It was heavenly. I even went to bed pretty early after that. I guess it shows how bad I needed it.

I'm glad to know that things will be ok in the long run. In my patriarchal blessing it says, "Your life will not be strewn with roses." I always crack up a bit with that sentence. It actually feels good to know that trials are something I was promised to have and the promises are being fulfilled. :)

Overall, I guess it feels good to write down what has been bothering me lately. I'll try to have more patience, and I'll try to be better. I guess that's what life is all about, being better.

I'm due Jan. 30th to those that want to know. :) Maybe my next post will be happier...we can hope!